Victoria

by Sofia (Creative Writing Workshop RPI)

 

CHAPTER

THE TRUTH

At first, I didn’t say anything.

            I just stared at Victoria’s dead body, and then stood up, and gave the corpse a kiss on the forehead. I couldn’t believe that I was actually calling my best friend a corpse.

            Sadness overwhelmed me, yet I couldn’t cry.           

            Anger was taking over but I didn’t know how to scream.

            I looked at Victoria, trying to see if I could still see the character in her, even though she was dead.       

            And then I realized, while I was studying her. I realized, that she was gone. Her soul was gone, she would never be the same again. The love and life had floated out of her the second her heart stopped beating, and now, without her personality she was just another body, just another person. Nothing about her set her apart from others. The quality that I had seen in her at such a young age that made her my best friend, had vanished.

            My best friend…had vanished.

            I took Victoria’s now freezing hand in mine and laid my face down on our hands, knowing that this was the last moment of true together-ness that we would ever have.

 

            Not long after I put my head down, did everyone come in

            I lifted my head up immediately to look at all of the pleading faces.

            They all closed the door, crowding around the doorway, and trying to avoid looking at Victoria as they talked to me. It’s like they could almost guess that she had died.

            “We went home.” Said Evan. “Your parents…my parents couldn’t stand being here any longer….and we figured that you could use a little time by yourself. We told the nurse that you would be here by yourself, just incase….but…yeah…”

            Evan couldn’t have seemed more awkward in that moment.

            Victoria’s parents hesitantly made their way over to stand behind me and I turned around on my stool to face them.

            “Um…how is she?” asked Victoria’s Mother shakily.

            I shot a look at my parents and saw that they were glancing nervously at each other, like they already knew.

            Victoria’s Mother was standing next to her Father, and her Father had his arm around her as they stared at the daughter they didn’t know was dead.

            I looked back at my parents. Evan wiped his eyes, and sighed irritably.

            “Mom, Dad….don’t you….don’t you see?”

            Victoria’s parents stared blankly at him. They were blinded by fake hope.

            “See what, Evan? What are we supposed to see?” asked Victoria’s Mother.

            Evan ran his hand through his hair, and hurriedly walked over to the bed.

            I moved out of the way as he stood beside his sister, looking down at her. He took her wrist and looked at it.

            “Evan stop it.” Said Victoria’s Father angrily. “Stop it. She’s only sleeping.”

            I looked painfully at Victoria’s parents and shook my head.

            “Your wrong.” I hissed from between my teeth.

            Evan felt for a pulse, set his dead sister’s hand down and looked at his parents.

            “She’s not sleeping, Dad. She’s dead.” He pronounced.

           

            It hadn’t really seemed final until Evan said the words, and Victoria’s Mother gasped and put her hands over her face, buried her head in her husband’s shoulder, and began to sob. It didn’t seem final until Victoria’s Dad wrapped is arms around his wife and squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to cry.

            My Mother gasped and shook her head and put her hands over her mouth.

            “No…” she whispered. She looked at me. “Mellenie…were you here with her when…when…..”

            I nodded. “I was here. I heard her last words. We were talking. “

            Evan stared blankly at his sister, tears sliding down from his eyes. He placed his large hand on the side of Victoria’s face.

            “My little warrior…” he whispered.

            Victoria’s Mom came over and grabbed Victoria’s hand and held it against her face, crying. She sat down in her chair next to the bed and sobbed.

            “My girl…my little baby girl…”she wept.

            Victoria’s father sat down at the table in the back of the room, put his elbows on the table, closed his eyes, and pinched the bridge of his nose with his index finger and his thumb.

My parents backed out of the room, because my Mother was crying so hard. It was just me, Evan and Victoria’s parents.

            Evan took his hands off Victoria’s face, and looked at me.

            “I am so, so sorry.” He whispered.

            And then we reached out to each other and he hugged me and rocked back and forth as he cried. I didn’t have any tears left so it almost felt as if I was consoling him while he cried.

            Just then the nurse came in with a needle and a band aid, ready to take another blood test.

            She stopped short and gasped.

            “Oh dear…”she said. “Oh dear…”

            Evan let go of me and looked vaguely at the nurse.

            Victoria’s Mother looked up.

            “Why couldn’t you save my little girl? How could you let her die?!” she snapped angrily.

            The nurse looked surprised, so I answered for her, staring at Victoria’s Mother, thinking of Victoria’s last words.

            “It’s not the hospital’s fault. Some things just happen in life, and we have to go along with them, Anna. And since Victoria isn’t here to say this, I’m going to say it for her.” I started. “Victoria doesn’t do how.”

            The nurse looked confused and astonished.

            “Since the patient has passed, we are going to need to evacuate the room of family and friends, and we need to remove her to the morgue.” Said the Nurse solemly. “I’m going to call a doctor…..I am so very, very sorry…”

           

 

            CHAPTER

            LAST LOOKS

The next thing I remember is that I was nodding off in the back of a car, and I remember strong arms picking me up and carrying me into the cool air conditioning of a building. Then they set me down on a couch, and I turned over on my side and went into a deep, dreamless sleep.

           

            I awoke to familiar surroundings, on a beige couch, still in the pink pajamas that I had worn to New York. I sat up slowly and blinked a few times, trying to get my bearings. The sky blue walls, the marble coffee table, the perfectly white rug….I was in Victoria’s apartment, in her living room. The home felt empty without Victoria’s presence. I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

            Just then, a voice flooded the room and made me jump.

            “Hey, you’re awake.”

            I looked up, and saw Evan walk into the kitchen in Adidas sweatpants and a Rolling Stones t-shirt.

            “Oh..hi.” I said.

            I was humiliated because I must have looked like a sick, 80 year old woman, (not to mention I felt as exhausted as an 80 year old woman) and of course, Evan looked as cute as he always did, even if it was too early to be up in the morning.

            “How’d you sleep? You’ve been out since last afternoon.” Said Evan, grabbing a glass and pouring himself some water from the refrigerator.

            “No way….I slept that long?” I said, standing up. I felt drowsy, and my head was spinning, but I made my way over to the kitchen, and grabbed a Seltzer from the refrigerator. “May I?” I asked.

Evan nodded toward the seltzer.

            “Sure, help yourself.”

            We stood there in silence, me drinking seltzer, him downing his tall glass of water.

            “So.” He said, putting the glass behind him in the sink, getting ready for somewhat of a long talk. “We have a wake this on Tuesday to go to. It’s funny, the second we got out of the hospital yesterday, my Mom arranged for a wake to be set up as soon as possible, and a funeral directly following the wake. I think she just wants it all to be over…I feel bad. And by the way, your Mom got you some black clothing, which you can also where to the funeral on Wednesday, okay? And your parents are staying in our extra bedroom. My parents and yours are still clonked out. I have the impression that my parents think if they sleep long enough, maybe the whole situation will go away.”

            I looked at him blankly, in a trance.

            We couldn’t possibly be talking about my best friend’s wake and funeral…..but we were.

            “Hello? Anyone in there?” asked Evan, pretending to knock on my brain from afar.

            I shook my head to clear it of thoughts and nodded.

            “Right. What time is it now? What day is it?” I asked.

            “Eh, ‘round eight am on Saturday.” Said Evan.

            “Wake me up at noon, okay?”

            “Sounds like a plan, man.”    

            I brought the seltzer over to the couch and set in on the rug next to the couch as I laid down again, closed my eyes, and waited dreadfully for noon to come, when I would have to face with the real world again.

            The next few days went by all the same. Everyone slept mostly and people would take turns going into Victoria’s room and packing up her items. We ordered pizza every night and had what was left of it the following day. Nobody had much of an appetite, it seemed like the only thing we had plenty of was tears. We were completely stripped of words besides good-morning and good-night. Then, before we all knew it, we were put to the test on Tuesday, June 30th.

 

            My parents, Victoria’s parents, and Evan and I arrived at Greenwich Village Funeral Home at one-thirty, half an hour before the wake was set to start. We had some of Victoria’s previous teachers and lots of family friends coming today, and the rest of Victoria’s family had quickly been forced to buy last minute plane tickets if they wanted to make it to the funeral on Wednesday.

            The place was very beautiful, one of the best funeral homes in New York. The funeral director apologized for our loss but thanked us for trusting Greenwich Village Funeral Home with our loved ones.

            I went into the main room, which had a blue carpet and white walls and fancy wood couches and love with blue cushions all over the place. There was wine and ice water, and two large cheese and cracker platters.

            The wake went smoothly, although I had never been to one. Of course there were lots of tears and sobbing and apologies and memories to share. My parents and I ended up leaving early, for my Mother could not control her tears in public for very long.       

            Victoria looked like an angel, in her aqua graduation sun dress and matching ballet flats, but her waves of thick blonde hair were missing, and Victoria’s parents thought it would appear much too fake if Victoria wore a wig.

            When I went up to the casket to pray for my best friend, I planned to whisper our friendship pact, but all I could get out was “Friends Forever.”

            I remember looking back over my shoulder as we left the funeral home, seeing Victoria’s parents talking to yet another guest and wondering how Victoria’s parents could stand all of the talk about their lovely baby girl, and not lose it at any moment. All I could say was that Victoria’s Mother was appearing a lot stronger than my Mother, and my Mother wasn’t even the one who lost a child. I was still here.

 

 

 

                        CHAPTER

                        MISS MARRY MACK, ALL DRESSED IN BLACK

 

            The next day, I awoke on the couch again, to Evan trying to lift my luggage across the room.

            My luggage?! My belonging that I brought to Los Angeles with me!

            I sat up on the couch.

            “Evan? Do you want a little help there?” I asked.

            Evan looked up, startled.

            “Oh..well…sure…you sure do have a way with over-packing.” He said, referring to his troubles lifting the new, matching purple duffle bag and suitcase set that Nadia had gotten me for Los Angeles.

            I went over and grabbed the duffle bag by the handles, and heaved it over next to couch, dragging it the whole way. Evan rolled suitcase, which constantly got stuck in the plush white fuzz of the rug.

I went over and grabbed my white Aeropastale bag from the doorway and asked Evan how he had gotten all of my stuff.

            “Well, Mr. Elizabeth, I guess, had all of this sent to the hotel, after consulting with your Mom…and I got sent down to get it at the early hour of 7am…its around 7:30 now.” Explained Evan.

            I nodded understandingly. I had forgotten all about the Elizabeths. Well, I probably wouldn’t be seeing much of them again, even when I went back to Orlando, when I went back to Orlando.

            “So...you ready for today?” asked Evan.

            I didn’t even have to question him, I knew Evan was talking about the funeral, today at 4pm, also with Greenwich Village Funeral Homes.

           
            At 4pm, the services started. We all sat in pews and gazed up at the stage, beholding the casket of Victoria Jane Livingston. Everyone was wearing so much black, it was the most depressing sight I had ever seen. I sat in the front row with Evan, Victoria’s parents and my parents. As the speeches were going on, one was given by Victoria’s Mother, one by her Father, and then as one of Victoria’s aunts were talking, it hit me.

            I was Victoria’s best friend. I needed to give a speech, or at get up there on the stage and say something. Why hadn’t that occurred to me before?

            My eyes drifted over to Victoria’s casket, which would be carried down the street to the near-by graveyard after the service.

                        She would have wanted me to speak up for her.

            I whispered to my Mother. “Is this the last speech?”

            “I believe so…” answered my Mother back. “I know it’s a long service, but if you could just sit tight-“

“Mom, I want to speak..I want to say something.”

            My Mother passed my message onto Victoria’s Mother, sitting at my Mother’s other side, and Victoria’s Mother looked touched, leaned forward and gave me a thumbs up, and surprisingly enough, gave me a small smile.

            Victoria’s aunt, like everyone else, finished her speech in tears and took her seat in the pew behind us.

            Victoria’s Mother stood up and turned to face the guests, and she motioned for me to get up on stage and go up to the microphone, so I did.

            “So, before we continue on with today’s ceremony, I would just like to say that we have one more guest coming up to say a few words, and that guest is Mellenie Robin, Victoria’s official best friend.”

            Everybody clapped for me and I gave a small smile, and adjusted the microphone attached to the small desk on stage down to so it was level with my mouth.

            “Ah…hello all.” I said, looking out at the melancholy faces of the guests.

I needed to say something good. This needed to mean something…it was for my best friend.

“Well, I don’t really have anything prepared…but I would just like to say that I hope everybody in this room appreciated Victoria Livingston as much as I did. She…she was a great friend. No, she was more than that. We have shared our whole life, and quite frankly, I don’t know what I’m going to do now that I know Victoria isn’t waiting for me somewhere in the world. You see, I moved to Orlando around a year ago…and I thought that was too much separation for us…but now, I can see that I have a much more complicated method of separation to deal with. But I know…deep in my heart, that Victoria and I will never be truly separated…because we have a special bond between us. A bond, that I know, I know, she is feeling even though she is not with us today. We shared a bond called love. We were best friends, and you know, we still are, even though Victoria is gone now. Well, her physical appearance may be missing, but she lives on with us in our memories and our minds and our hearts. She was an unforgettable person. Vitoria and I had this dream that we would, we would become co-starring actresses in New York and travel the world together…but now, I don’t know if I want to live that dream on my own. Victoria had a way of sticking to you, and making you remember her. So every time I think of acting, I think Victoria. I think a different profession is in order for me now. And also, if there is one thing I remember more than anything else about Victoria, it is that she didn’t answer the question “how.” I don’t know, it’s the way she was born…”

            A few people chuckled, so I must have been doing something right.

            “...Victoria would say to me, ‘I don’t do how, Mellie.’  Those were the last words she had to me, when I was right next to her before she passed. She believed that there was a special reason that we couldn’t know everything in life, so why try and explain how things happened? Victoria believed that people should contemplate the answer on their own, use their imagination a little. Whether that was the best way to handle things or not, is not the point. The point is, that is something I will always remember about Victoria. But, there is one more thing that will stick out in my brain forever when I think of her…and it is the friendship pact that we made when we were nine years old, and that we recited at every sleepover we had since then.”

            I could feel the tears starting to come as I started with Victoria’s line.

            “Friends forever…always.  We are inseparable, nothing can stop us, because we are friends forever, even after we die, and float up with the angels in the big, blue sky.”

 

 

I got many congratulations on my speech from nearly all the guests at the funeral, which brought me a tiny smile on such a sad day.

I watched, front and center as they lowered the top over Victoria’s casket and concealed my view of her forever. I remember her cute button nose, and the uncountable freckles that dotted her face and her arms. She was still Vicky to me, still Vicky.

            As they lowered her casket into the ground, I watched, as it was the longest moment that I had ever been through in my life. I blocked out every sound, every smell, any other movement, and concentrated on the casket, as the priest gave a speech.

            As the ceremony ended, and Victoria’s parents and my parents walked away together, I followed behind, with Evan’s large arm around my back.

            I didn’t even give a second glance over my shoulder.

            For now, I truly knew in my heart, now I was leaving Victoria- for good.

AFTERWARDS

Well, it’s been a three years since I moved to

Orlando, and I’m still thriving in Lake Brantly High School, I am now a senior.

            I have to say, I still have all of the photographs of Victoria and I. I made a plaque of our friendship pact, the words painted on a canvas, and my parents framed it for my birthday present last year.

            And I realized something as I was pondering about Victoria the other day, (something I still do quite often) and I realized that her wake was on the day that we moved away to Orlando three years ago. There must be a reason for that, but I am not going to ask how that happened…because some things in this universe are better left unsaid.

            I wonder what Victoria and I would be like right now, if she were alive. I miss her every second of every day.

            My dream of being an actress has faded, and since I’ve got many memorable life experiences, I figured I would like to share them with people. So, my new goal is to become an author and I am set on going to Amherst College to do so.

            My life sure has turned out a lot more different than I planned. And you know what, that’s okay.

So, about Jeremy and Greta. Greta has forgiven me and we are the best of friends, almost as close as Victoria and I were when she was around.

            Jeremy….well...it’s been three years and he still doesn’t really like me. Well, he still loves me, but he won’t talk to me that much. He’s still convinced I lied to him three years ago.

            Maybe I did, and I treated him differently than good friends should treat good friends, but I have apologized plenty and now it’s his turn to except the apology. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.

            I secretly think he doesn’t like me because I’m dating Victoria’s older brother, Evan Lingingston, (who is now enrolled in Princeton University in New Jersey, for his love of music) and Jeremy really deep-down just wants me to be his,         

            Too bad for him.

            And, don’t you think it’s cool that Evan and I are dating? Because if Victoria were still alive, and Evan and I got married, we would be sisters! When we were little girls, we used to talk about me marrying him JUST so we could be sisters, and for no other reason.

            But Victoria knew deep down…she already knew she was the sister I never had.

           

 

         

           

 

 

 

From a Longer Work

SOFIA (Creative Writing Workshop RPI)

CHAPTER

THE TRUTH

At first, I didn’t say anything.

            I just stared at Victoria’s dead body, and then stood up, and gave the corpse a kiss on the forehead. I couldn’t believe that I was actually calling my best friend a corpse.

            Sadness overwhelmed me, yet I couldn’t cry.           

            Anger was taking over but I didn’t know how to scream.

            I looked at Victoria, trying to see if I could still see the character in her, even though she was dead.       

            And then I realized, while I was studying her. I realized, that she was gone. Her soul was gone, she would never be the same again. The love and life had floated out of her the second her heart stopped beating, and now, without her personality she was just another body, just another person. Nothing about her set her apart from others. The quality that I had seen in her at such a young age that made her my best friend, had vanished.

            My best friend…had vanished.

            I took Victoria’s now freezing hand in mine and laid my face down on our hands, knowing that this was the last moment of true together-ness that we would ever have.

 

            Not long after I put my head down, did everyone come in

            I lifted my head up immediately to look at all of the pleading faces.

            They all closed the door, crowding around the doorway, and trying to avoid looking at Victoria as they talked to me. It’s like they could almost guess that she had died.

            “We went home.” Said Evan. “Your parents…my parents couldn’t stand being here any longer….and we figured that you could use a little time by yourself. We told the nurse that you would be here by yourself, just incase….but…yeah…”

            Evan couldn’t have seemed more awkward in that moment.

            Victoria’s parents hesitantly made their way over to stand behind me and I turned around on my stool to face them.

            “Um…how is she?” asked Victoria’s Mother shakily.

            I shot a look at my parents and saw that they were glancing nervously at each other, like they already knew.

            Victoria’s Mother was standing next to her Father, and her Father had his arm around her as they stared at the daughter they didn’t know was dead.

            I looked back at my parents. Evan wiped his eyes, and sighed irritably.

            “Mom, Dad….don’t you….don’t you see?”

            Victoria’s parents stared blankly at him. They were blinded by fake hope.

            “See what, Evan? What are we supposed to see?” asked Victoria’s Mother.

            Evan ran his hand through his hair, and hurriedly walked over to the bed.

            I moved out of the way as he stood beside his sister, looking down at her. He took her wrist and looked at it.

            “Evan stop it.” Said Victoria’s Father angrily. “Stop it. She’s only sleeping.”

            I looked painfully at Victoria’s parents and shook my head.

            “Your wrong.” I hissed from between my teeth.

            Evan felt for a pulse, set his dead sister’s hand down and looked at his parents.

            “She’s not sleeping, Dad. She’s dead.” He pronounced.

           

            It hadn’t really seemed final until Evan said the words, and Victoria’s Mother gasped and put her hands over her face, buried her head in her husband’s shoulder, and began to sob. It didn’t seem final until Victoria’s Dad wrapped is arms around his wife and squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to cry.

            My Mother gasped and shook her head and put her hands over her mouth.

            “No…” she whispered. She looked at me. “Mellenie…were you here with her when…when…..”

            I nodded. “I was here. I heard her last words. We were talking. “

            Evan stared blankly at his sister, tears sliding down from his eyes. He placed his large hand on the side of Victoria’s face.

            “My little warrior…” he whispered.

            Victoria’s Mom came over and grabbed Victoria’s hand and held it against her face, crying. She sat down in her chair next to the bed and sobbed.

            “My girl…my little baby girl…”she wept.

            Victoria’s father sat down at the table in the back of the room, put his elbows on the table, closed his eyes, and pinched the bridge of his nose with his index finger and his thumb.

My parents backed out of the room, because my Mother was crying so hard. It was just me, Evan and Victoria’s parents.

            Evan took his hands off Victoria’s face, and looked at me.

            “I am so, so sorry.” He whispered.

            And then we reached out to each other and he hugged me and rocked back and forth as he cried. I didn’t have any tears left so it almost felt as if I was consoling him while he cried.

            Just then the nurse came in with a needle and a band aid, ready to take another blood test.

            She stopped short and gasped.

            “Oh dear…”she said. “Oh dear…”

            Evan let go of me and looked vaguely at the nurse.

            Victoria’s Mother looked up.

            “Why couldn’t you save my little girl? How could you let her die?!” she snapped angrily.

            The nurse looked surprised, so I answered for her, staring at Victoria’s Mother, thinking of Victoria’s last words.

            “It’s not the hospital’s fault. Some things just happen in life, and we have to go along with them, Anna. And since Victoria isn’t here to say this, I’m going to say it for her.” I started. “Victoria doesn’t do how.”

            The nurse looked confused and astonished.

            “Since the patient has passed, we are going to need to evacuate the room of family and friends, and we need to remove her to the morgue.” Said the Nurse solemly. “I’m going to call a doctor…..I am so very, very sorry…”

           

 

            CHAPTER

            LAST LOOKS

The next thing I remember is that I was nodding off in the back of a car, and I remember strong arms picking me up and carrying me into the cool air conditioning of a building. Then they set me down on a couch, and I turned over on my side and went into a deep, dreamless sleep.

           

            I awoke to familiar surroundings, on a beige couch, still in the pink pajamas that I had worn to New York. I sat up slowly and blinked a few times, trying to get my bearings. The sky blue walls, the marble coffee table, the perfectly white rug….I was in Victoria’s apartment, in her living room. The home felt empty without Victoria’s presence. I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

            Just then, a voice flooded the room and made me jump.

            “Hey, you’re awake.”

            I looked up, and saw Evan walk into the kitchen in Adidas sweatpants and a Rolling Stones t-shirt.

            “Oh..hi.” I said.

            I was humiliated because I must have looked like a sick, 80 year old woman, (not to mention I felt as exhausted as an 80 year old woman) and of course, Evan looked as cute as he always did, even if it was too early to be up in the morning.

            “How’d you sleep? You’ve been out since last afternoon.” Said Evan, grabbing a glass and pouring himself some water from the refrigerator.

            “No way….I slept that long?” I said, standing up. I felt drowsy, and my head was spinning, but I made my way over to the kitchen, and grabbed a Seltzer from the refrigerator. “May I?” I asked.

Evan nodded toward the seltzer.

            “Sure, help yourself.”

            We stood there in silence, me drinking seltzer, him downing his tall glass of water.

            “So.” He said, putting the glass behind him in the sink, getting ready for somewhat of a long talk. “We have a wake this on Tuesday to go to. It’s funny, the second we got out of the hospital yesterday, my Mom arranged for a wake to be set up as soon as possible, and a funeral directly following the wake. I think she just wants it all to be over…I feel bad. And by the way, your Mom got you some black clothing, which you can also where to the funeral on Wednesday, okay? And your parents are staying in our extra bedroom. My parents and yours are still clonked out. I have the impression that my parents think if they sleep long enough, maybe the whole situation will go away.”

            I looked at him blankly, in a trance.

            We couldn’t possibly be talking about my best friend’s wake and funeral…..but we were.

            “Hello? Anyone in there?” asked Evan, pretending to knock on my brain from afar.

            I shook my head to clear it of thoughts and nodded.

            “Right. What time is it now? What day is it?” I asked.

            “Eh, ‘round eight am on Saturday.” Said Evan.

            “Wake me up at noon, okay?”

            “Sounds like a plan, man.”    

            I brought the seltzer over to the couch and set in on the rug next to the couch as I laid down again, closed my eyes, and waited dreadfully for noon to come, when I would have to face with the real world again.

            The next few days went by all the same. Everyone slept mostly and people would take turns going into Victoria’s room and packing up her items. We ordered pizza every night and had what was left of it the following day. Nobody had much of an appetite, it seemed like the only thing we had plenty of was tears. We were completely stripped of words besides good-morning and good-night. Then, before we all knew it, we were put to the test on Tuesday, June 30th.

 

            My parents, Victoria’s parents, and Evan and I arrived at Greenwich Village Funeral Home at one-thirty, half an hour before the wake was set to start. We had some of Victoria’s previous teachers and lots of family friends coming today, and the rest of Victoria’s family had quickly been forced to buy last minute plane tickets if they wanted to make it to the funeral on Wednesday.

            The place was very beautiful, one of the best funeral homes in New York. The funeral director apologized for our loss but thanked us for trusting Greenwich Village Funeral Home with our loved ones.

            I went into the main room, which had a blue carpet and white walls and fancy wood couches and love with blue cushions all over the place. There was wine and ice water, and two large cheese and cracker platters.

            The wake went smoothly, although I had never been to one. Of course there were lots of tears and sobbing and apologies and memories to share. My parents and I ended up leaving early, for my Mother could not control her tears in public for very long.       

            Victoria looked like an angel, in her aqua graduation sun dress and matching ballet flats, but her waves of thick blonde hair were missing, and Victoria’s parents thought it would appear much too fake if Victoria wore a wig.

            When I went up to the casket to pray for my best friend, I planned to whisper our friendship pact, but all I could get out was “Friends Forever.”

            I remember looking back over my shoulder as we left the funeral home, seeing Victoria’s parents talking to yet another guest and wondering how Victoria’s parents could stand all of the talk about their lovely baby girl, and not lose it at any moment. All I could say was that Victoria’s Mother was appearing a lot stronger than my Mother, and my Mother wasn’t even the one who lost a child. I was still here.

 

 

 

                        CHAPTER

                        MISS MARRY MACK, ALL DRESSED IN BLACK

 

            The next day, I awoke on the couch again, to Evan trying to lift my luggage across the room.

            My luggage?! My belonging that I brought to Los Angeles with me!

            I sat up on the couch.

            “Evan? Do you want a little help there?” I asked.

            Evan looked up, startled.

            “Oh..well…sure…you sure do have a way with over-packing.” He said, referring to his troubles lifting the new, matching purple duffle bag and suitcase set that Nadia had gotten me for Los Angeles.

            I went over and grabbed the duffle bag by the handles, and heaved it over next to couch, dragging it the whole way. Evan rolled suitcase, which constantly got stuck in the plush white fuzz of the rug.

I went over and grabbed my white Aeropastale bag from the doorway and asked Evan how he had gotten all of my stuff.

            “Well, Mr. Elizabeth, I guess, had all of this sent to the hotel, after consulting with your Mom…and I got sent down to get it at the early hour of 7am…its around 7:30 now.” Explained Evan.

            I nodded understandingly. I had forgotten all about the Elizabeths. Well, I probably wouldn’t be seeing much of them again, even when I went back to Orlando, when I went back to Orlando.

            “So...you ready for today?” asked Evan.

            I didn’t even have to question him, I knew Evan was talking about the funeral, today at 4pm, also with Greenwich Village Funeral Homes.

           
            At 4pm, the services started. We all sat in pews and gazed up at the stage, beholding the casket of Victoria Jane Livingston. Everyone was wearing so much black, it was the most depressing sight I had ever seen. I sat in the front row with Evan, Victoria’s parents and my parents. As the speeches were going on, one was given by Victoria’s Mother, one by her Father, and then as one of Victoria’s aunts were talking, it hit me.

            I was Victoria’s best friend. I needed to give a speech, or at get up there on the stage and say something. Why hadn’t that occurred to me before?

            My eyes drifted over to Victoria’s casket, which would be carried down the street to the near-by graveyard after the service.

                        She would have wanted me to speak up for her.

            I whispered to my Mother. “Is this the last speech?”

            “I believe so…” answered my Mother back. “I know it’s a long service, but if you could just sit tight-“

“Mom, I want to speak..I want to say something.”

            My Mother passed my message onto Victoria’s Mother, sitting at my Mother’s other side, and Victoria’s Mother looked touched, leaned forward and gave me a thumbs up, and surprisingly enough, gave me a small smile.

            Victoria’s aunt, like everyone else, finished her speech in tears and took her seat in the pew behind us.

            Victoria’s Mother stood up and turned to face the guests, and she motioned for me to get up on stage and go up to the microphone, so I did.

            “So, before we continue on with today’s ceremony, I would just like to say that we have one more guest coming up to say a few words, and that guest is Mellenie Robin, Victoria’s official best friend.”

            Everybody clapped for me and I gave a small smile, and adjusted the microphone attached to the small desk on stage down to so it was level with my mouth.

            “Ah…hello all.” I said, looking out at the melancholy faces of the guests.

I needed to say something good. This needed to mean something…it was for my best friend.

“Well, I don’t really have anything prepared…but I would just like to say that I hope everybody in this room appreciated Victoria Livingston as much as I did. She…she was a great friend. No, she was more than that. We have shared our whole life, and quite frankly, I don’t know what I’m going to do now that I know Victoria isn’t waiting for me somewhere in the world. You see, I moved to Orlando around a year ago…and I thought that was too much separation for us…but now, I can see that I have a much more complicated method of separation to deal with. But I know…deep in my heart, that Victoria and I will never be truly separated…because we have a special bond between us. A bond, that I know, I know, she is feeling even though she is not with us today. We shared a bond called love. We were best friends, and you know, we still are, even though Victoria is gone now. Well, her physical appearance may be missing, but she lives on with us in our memories and our minds and our hearts. She was an unforgettable person. Vitoria and I had this dream that we would, we would become co-starring actresses in New York and travel the world together…but now, I don’t know if I want to live that dream on my own. Victoria had a way of sticking to you, and making you remember her. So every time I think of acting, I think Victoria. I think a different profession is in order for me now. And also, if there is one thing I remember more than anything else about Victoria, it is that she didn’t answer the question “how.” I don’t know, it’s the way she was born…”

            A few people chuckled, so I must have been doing something right.

            “...Victoria would say to me, ‘I don’t do how, Mellie.’  Those were the last words she had to me, when I was right next to her before she passed. She believed that there was a special reason that we couldn’t know everything in life, so why try and explain how things happened? Victoria believed that people should contemplate the answer on their own, use their imagination a little. Whether that was the best way to handle things or not, is not the point. The point is, that is something I will always remember about Victoria. But, there is one more thing that will stick out in my brain forever when I think of her…and it is the friendship pact that we made when we were nine years old, and that we recited at every sleepover we had since then.”

            I could feel the tears starting to come as I started with Victoria’s line.

            “Friends forever…always.  We are inseparable, nothing can stop us, because we are friends forever, even after we die, and float up with the angels in the big, blue sky.”

 

 

I got many congratulations on my speech from nearly all the guests at the funeral, which brought me a tiny smile on such a sad day.

I watched, front and center as they lowered the top over Victoria’s casket and concealed my view of her forever. I remember her cute button nose, and the uncountable freckles that dotted her face and her arms. She was still Vicky to me, still Vicky.

            As they lowered her casket into the ground, I watched, as it was the longest moment that I had ever been through in my life. I blocked out every sound, every smell, any other movement, and concentrated on the casket, as the priest gave a speech.

            As the ceremony ended, and Victoria’s parents and my parents walked away together, I followed behind, with Evan’s large arm around my back.

            I didn’t even give a second glance over my shoulder.

            For now, I truly knew in my heart, now I was leaving Victoria- for good.

AFTERWARDS

Well, it’s been a three years since I moved to

Orlando, and I’m still thriving in Lake Brantly High School, I am now a senior.

            I have to say, I still have all of the photographs of Victoria and I. I made a plaque of our friendship pact, the words painted on a canvas, and my parents framed it for my birthday present last year.

            And I realized something as I was pondering about Victoria the other day, (something I still do quite often) and I realized that her wake was on the day that we moved away to Orlando three years ago. There must be a reason for that, but I am not going to ask how that happened…because some things in this universe are better left unsaid.

            I wonder what Victoria and I would be like right now, if she were alive. I miss her every second of every day.

            My dream of being an actress has faded, and since I’ve got many memorable life experiences, I figured I would like to share them with people. So, my new goal is to become an author and I am set on going to Amherst College to do so.

            My life sure has turned out a lot more different than I planned. And you know what, that’s okay.

So, about Jeremy and Greta. Greta has forgiven me and we are the best of friends, almost as close as Victoria and I were when she was around.

            Jeremy….well...it’s been three years and he still doesn’t really like me. Well, he still loves me, but he won’t talk to me that much. He’s still convinced I lied to him three years ago.

            Maybe I did, and I treated him differently than good friends should treat good friends, but I have apologized plenty and now it’s his turn to except the apology. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.

            I secretly think he doesn’t like me because I’m dating Victoria’s older brother, Evan Lingingston, (who is now enrolled in Princeton University in New Jersey, for his love of music) and Jeremy really deep-down just wants me to be his,         

            Too bad for him.

            And, don’t you think it’s cool that Evan and I are dating? Because if Victoria were still alive, and Evan and I got married, we would be sisters! When we were little girls, we used to talk about me marrying him JUST so we could be sisters, and for no other reason.

            But Victoria knew deep down…she already knew she was the sister I never had.